Lewis’ Power Rankings: Week 8

David Lewis, Vice President of Operations

1. Tennessee Titans (1) (7-0)
2. New York Giants (3) (6-1)
3. Washington Redskins (5) (6-2)
4. Carolina Panthers (7) (6-2)
5. Pittsburgh Steelers (2) (5-2)
6. Buffalo Bills (4) (5-2)
7. New England Patriots (8) (5-2)
8. Dallas Cowboys (10) (5-3)
9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6) (5-3)
10. Arizona Cardinals (8) (4-3)
11. Green Bay Packers (11) (4-3)
12. Chicago Bears (12) (4-3)
13. Philadelphia Eagles (14) (4-3)
14. Baltimore Ravens (21) (4-3)
15. New Orleans Saints (20) (4-4)
16. Atlanta Falcons (14) (4-3)
17. Denver Broncos (17) (4-3)
18. San Diego Chargers (13) (3-5)
19. Indianapolis Colts (18) (3-4)
20. New York Jets (22) (4-3)
21. Minnesota Vikings (20) (3-4)
22. Houstan Texans (23) (3-4)
23. Cleveland Browns (25) (3-4)
24. Miami Dolphins (26) (3-4)
25. Jacksonville Jaguars (15) (3-4)
26. St. Louis Rams (24) (2-5)
27. Oakland Raiders (27) (2-5)
28. Seattle Seahawks (29) (2-5)
29. San Francisco 49ers (28) (2-6)
30. Kansas City Chiefs (30) (1-6)
31. Cincinnati Bengals (31) (0-8)
32. Detroit Lions (32) (0-7)

Lewis’ Power Rankings: Week 7

David Lewis, Vice President of Operations

1. Tennessee Titans (1) (6-0)
2. Pittsburgh Steelers (2) (5-1)
3. New York Giants (3) (5-1)
4. Buffalo Bills (5) (5-1)
5. Washington Redskins (4) (5-2)
6. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8) (5-2)
7. Carolina Panthers (9) (5-2)
8. New England Patriots (14) (4-2)
9. Arizona Cardinals (6) (4-2)
10. Dallas Cowboys (7) (4-3)
11. Green Bay Packers (18) (4-3)
12. Chicago Bears (17) (4-3)
13. San Diego Chargers (10) (3-4)
14. Atlanta Falcons (16) (4-2)
15. Jacksonville Jaguars (13) (3-3)
16. Philadelphia Eagles (15) (3-3)
17. Denver Broncos (11) (4-3)
18. Indianapolis Colts (12) (3-3)
19. Minnesota Vikings (19) (3-4)
20. New Orleans Saints (20) (3-4)
21. Baltimore Ravens (23) (3-3)
22. New York Jets (21) (3-3)
23. Houston Texans (27) (2-4)
24. St. Louis Rams (30) (2-4)
25. Cleveland Browns (25) (2-4)
26. Miami Dolphins (22) (2-4)
27. Oakland Raiders (26) (2-4)
28. San Francisco 49ers (24) (2-5)
29. Seattle Seahawks (28) (1-5)
30. Kansas City Chiefs (29) (1-5)
31. Cincinnati Bengals (31) (0-7)
32. Detroit Lions (32) (0-6)

Lewis’ Power Rankings: Week 6

David Lewis, Vice President of Operations

1. Tennessee Titans (2) (5-0)
2. Pittsburgh Steelers (5) (4-1)
3. New York Giants (1) (4-1)
4. Washington Redskins (3) (4-2)
5. Buffalo Bills (7) (4-1)
6. Arizona Cardinals (15) (4-2)
7. Dallas Cowboys (4) (4-2)
8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (11) (4-2)
9. Carolina Panthers (6) (4-2)
10. San Diego Chargers (14) (3-3)
11. Denver Broncos (8) (4-2)
12. Indianapolis Colts (19) (3-2)
13. Jacksonville Jaguars (16) (3-3)
14. New England Patriots (10) (3-2)
15. Philadelphia Eagles (13) (3-3)
16. Atlanta Falcons (18) (4-2)
17. Chicago Bears (9) (3-3)
18. Green Bay Packers (20) (3-3)
19. Minnesota Vikings (22) (3-3)
20. New Orleans Saints (23) (3-3)
21. New York Jets (21) (3-2)
22. Miami Dolphins (12) (2-3)
23. Baltimore Ravens (17) (2-3)
24. San Francisco 49ers (24) (2-4)
25. Cleveland Browns (27) (2-3)
26. Oakland Raiders (25) (1-4)
27. Houston Texans (28) (1-4)
28. Seattle Seahawks (26) (1-4)
29. Kansas City Chiefs (29) (1-4)
30. St. Louis Rams (32) (1-4)
31. Cincinnati Bengals (30) (0-6)
32. Detroit Lions (31) (0-5)

The Extra(neous) Point

Michael Shahvari

Feline Fumbles

I was recently asked by a friend if I could take care of her cat while she went away for a week. All I had to do was feed the cat twice a day and make sure it knew where the litter box was. I agreed to do this despite the fact that I was dealing with some major problems in my life. My fantasy team needed me more than ever this week, and now I had this cat to deal with on top of it.
My starting lineup was decimated by injuries and bye weeks, and it looked like I was going to have to bite my lip and take a hard loss this week. My only hope was that Tony Romo would have a gigantic game against a hyped up Arizona defense. I sweated over every other matchup I had, picking up and dropping players all week, hoping some no-name would have a huge week for me.
In the midst of my hours of research and staring at my team’s pitiful predicted score for the week, the cat would interrupt me just as I was about to make one of my magnanimous, fate changing decisions. For example, just as I was about to add Visanthe Shiancoe who I knew was due for a big game against a sad Detroit team, the cat rubbed against my legs, probably wanting food. Was Shiancoe going to be my hero for the week? This decision was not something that could be interrupted by a matter so trivial as food. Hell, some weeks during football season I only eat on Sundays when I know I can’t change my lineup anymore.
The cat continued to interrupt my strategy sessions throughout the week, but each time it would eventually leave me alone, and I could resume working. By Saturday I was feeling confident with my lineup, so I went out and enjoyed some college football. When I got home that night, I got a call from the owner of the cat wondering how her precious girl was doing. I had no idea what she was talking about until she said, “My cat, stupid.” The long pause after she said that may have given me away, but eventually I said that the cat was fine and ready to go home.
I spent the better part of an hour looking for the cat, which I hadn’t seen in days. I grabbed the unopened box of food and spread some around the house, hoping it would remember what food looked like. I finally found it behind a couch, looking much thinner than I remembered. I took the cat out and put out some food and water for it, which it reluctantly ate and drank. I guess it had become accustomed to its new diet of nothing.
My friend picked up her cat on Sunday in the middle of the Dallas/Arizona game, so I don’t remember much of what she said, but I do recall her asking why there was so much food left in the box. When she left she slammed the door and called me irresponsible.
Visanthe Shiancoe had only 10 receiving yards, and I blame the cat for my poor decision making. I may be irresponsible, but at least I can feed myself, cat. The cat did teach me one important lesson though: never agree to do anything during fantasy football season.

Week 6 Start’Em Sit’Em

David Lewis, Vice President of Operations

Overall Record: 19-11

Start’Em:

Jason Campbell: Campbell goes against the Rams at home. The Rams are 28th in pass defense and have allowed 8 passing TDs this year.

Thomas Jones: Jones goes agaisnt the Bengal defense, which is ranked 29th in run defense and has allowed 6 rushing TDs.

Santana Moss: Similar reasons as Campbell. I doubt Moss will go without a catch this week.

Sit’Em:

Derek Anderson: The Browns offense looks like a former shell of itself from last year. In addition the Browns play the 2nd best pass defense in the New York Giants.

Joseph Addai: Addai is part of the worst running game in the league. Also he goes up against the best run defense in the league. It is highly unlikely the worst run game will run all over the best run defense.

Laveranues Coles: Coles goes up against the 6th ranked pass defense in the Bengals who are only allowing 167 pass yards a game and have only allowed 6 passing TDs in 5 games.

Lewis’ Power Rankings: Week 5

David Lewis, Vice President of Operations

Here is the quick version of the power rankings without explanations. It’s pretty simple how I judge teams. I base teams on how they are playing right now. If anyone disagrees with the rankings please leave a comment.

1. New York Giants (1) (4-0)
2. Tennessee Titans (2) (5-0)
3. Washington Redksins (4) (4-1)
4. Dallas Cowboys (5) (4-1)
5. Pittsburgh Steelers (6) (4-1)
6. Carolina Panthers (9) (4-1)
7. Buffalo Bills (3) (4-1)
8. Denver Broncos (12) (4-1)
9. Chicago Bears (10) (3-2)
10. New England Patriots (15) (3-1)
11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8) (3-2)
12. Miami Dolphins (23) (2-2)
13. Philadelphia Eagles (11) (2-3)
14. San Diego Chargers (7) (2-3)
15. Arizona Cardinals (20) (3-2)
16. Jacksonville Jaguars (14) (2-3)
17. Baltimore Ravens (17) (2-2)
18. Atlanta Falcons (22) (3-2)
19. Indianapolis Colts (16) (2-2)
20. Green Bay Packers (13) (2-3)
21. New York Jets (19) (2-2)
22. Minnesota Vikings (25) (2-3)
23. New Orleans Saints (18) (2-3)
24. San Francisco 49ers (21) (2-3)
25. Oakland Raiders (26) (1-3)
26. Seattle Seahawks (24) (1-3)
27. Cleveland Browns (27) (1-3)
28. Houston Texans (28) (0-4)
29. Kansas City Chiefs (29) (1-4)
30. Cincinnati Bengals (30) (0-5)
31. Detroit Lions (31) (0-4)
32. St. Louis Rams (32) (0-4)

The Extra(neous) Point

Michael Shahvari

The Diseased Mind of a Fantasy Junky

Fantasy football junkies like us are a rare breed. We don’t think like most normal human beings. All week we scrape and claw for whatever information we can get on the upcoming Sunday’s games. No, we don’t care who has a better chance to win in a battle of the only two unbeaten teams left. We only care about what one player will do in that game. The score makes no difference to us, as long as our player does the scoring. Like the addicts we are, we salivate waiting for Sunday, and when that day finally comes, there is no better feeling in the world. There is also no feeling in the world worse than when the players on our team do close to nothing and leave us with a bitter taste in our mouths and a low score in our matchup.
The peak of a fantasy junky’s insanity often comes on a Monday morning. Sunday’s points are tallied, and we are left with a win or a loss, unless of course we are lucky enough to have someone playing in a Monday night game. Despite being down by 32 points, having a single player left on Monday is all the fantasy junky needs to keep hope alive. Monday Night Football can’t come soon enough, and often the junky needs to take the day off to mentally prepare himself for that night.
It is also on these Monday nights that exceedingly strange situations arise which only make sense to the fantasy junky himself. Situations such as needing Marvin Harrison to score a touchdown, but also needing Peyton Manning to score under 8 points are common. To the average football fan, this would seem impossible since Marvin Harrison will be receiving the ball from Manning to score his touchdown. To a fantasy junky though, wild thoughts run through the mind, such as a double reverse to Harrison to score the only touchdown of the game. To the rest of the world, this scenario is ridiculous, but to the fantasy junky, it is the reason Monday Night Football is worth watching.
More complex situations often arise also. As I explained to a friend who is not very fantasy football savvy, I needed Devery Henderson to score at least a touchdown, but Drew Brees had to stay under 14 points and the kicker for Minnesota, Ryan Longwell, could only kick 2 field goals at most in this week’s Monday night game. While all of this made perfect sense to me, I watched as my friend slowly began to walk away from me, eying me as if I were a rabid dog.
Since I took the day off to focus on my fantasy team, the day went by slowly. When Monday night finally came and Devery Henderson scored early in the game, I felt good, but also a bit leery that Brees was setting up for a big game. I spent the rest of the game cheering for Minnesota’s defense to kill Brees, and Minnesota’s offense to score touchdowns instead of making field goals. Neither of these things happened, and Longwell’s last minute field goal did my team in. Going to bed angry, I had already begun to start planning my attack for next week. My team needs some revamping, so I may take tomorrow off as well.

Week 5 Start’Em Sit’Em

David Lewis, Vice President of Operations

Overall Record: 16-8

Start’Em:

Donovan McNabb: After a tough loss last week I expect McNabb to bounce back against the Redskins. the Redskins have the 23rd ranked pass defense and have allowed 6 passing TDs. In addition the Eagles are home and have played much better at home than on the road.

Steve Slaton: The Colts have the 31st ranked run defense and have allowed over 100 yards rushing every game. Also the Colts are without their best run stuffer in Bob Sanders. Look for Houston to run it often with Slaton to keep Peyton off the field.

Calvin Johnson: Johnson goes up against the Bears 28th pass defense which allows 246 passing yards a game. Look for Detroit to try to get Johnson involved in the game early and often.

Sit’Em:

Matt Schaub: He had a great game last week, but this week he’s going up against the Colts 2nd ranked pass defense, which has allowed 0 passing TDs. Houston will keep the ball on the ground, which will limit Schaub’s opportunity for points in the air.

Julius Jones: The Giants have the 7th ranked run defense and have only allowed 254 yds, 3.8 avg per carry, and only 1 rushing TD.

Larry Fitzgerald: With Boldin out, Fitz can expect to see a lot of double coverage. In addition he’s facing the 6th ranked pass defense in Buffalo who have only allowed 2 passing TDs.

The Extra(neous) Point

Michael Shahvari

Sunday Night Football, Monday Night Prison Break

This past week, my computer screen stopped working. If you’re like me, your computer is essential for your everyday life, but it is absolutely unfathomable to go without a computer on Sunday mornings when you must set your final fantasy football lineup. My unfortunate situation this week centered around whether or not Brian Westbrook would be starting in his Sunday Night Football game. I had to make a decision either to sit him in the morning and replace him with someone who played earlier, or to have faith that he would play that night. I knew about this situation all week, when I had access to other computers, but I left him in my W/R slot and tried to forget about it. I told myself that between Selvin Young and Michael Pittman I could pull out a decent score for my Rbs against a pitiful Kansas City team. And if Westbrook played, that’s great.
Sunday morning came. I woke up in a pool of sweat, turned on ESPN, and hoped there would be some word on Westbrook’s condition. He was still a game time decision. All the anxiety that I had felt during the week had suddenly come back. Having no access to a computer made the situation worse, but I talked myself through it, remembering the many other times when Brian played hurt and had great games. As 1 o’clock neared, I remembered that he was playing against the Bears defense, and that even if he did play hurt, it could be a disaster. I went into the kitchen for some water, frantically thinking about how I could get onto a computer.
I sat in my car. I debated whether it was worth it to break into the library, use a computer and be hauled off to jail just after putting Justin Gage into my W/R slot for Old Brian. My thoughts drifted to Gage’s touchdown performance of week 2, and I set off for my local library. The Titans game was slated for 1pm, and having taken so long to make the only logical decision, I had only ten minutes to get into the library and make the change. Arriving with three minutes to spare, I realized that I had not devised a plan  to break into a library. I knew that gripping the door handles and pulling with all my might wouldn’t do anything, but it felt right to at least try.
With my arms sore from pulling, and my heart heavy with worry and defeat, I just knew that Baby Brian wouldn’t play that night. A disgusting zero would be calculated into my score for the week. I sat outside the library for a few minutes trying to console myself, but I knew I had to get back home and watch the nine hours of football I had ahead of me that day.
I ended up winning my matchup due to the stellar performances of Tony Romo and Steve Smith, but the zero I dreaded so much was indeed a part of my score. Gage came up just short of 100 yards receiving, so my instincts to replace Bastard Brian were correct. While I did win last week, the moral of this story is to never give up, and go with your instincts, even if they involve committing crimes with multi-year sentences. At least you know they have computers that work in prison.